How could this be
As far as I can see
Let the wind just blow you free
I reach for you
Seems all I ever do
When you are so down and blue
Times change this way
Lets go somewhere to play
Try to dance this night away
To keep you here
Is way too hard I fear
Won't you stay and be my dear
Jump off your swing
'Bout time for you to sing
These words aren't meant to sting
It wont be wrong
Stay and help write this song
Time for you to strum along
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Just so you know- this is written in a pattern of syllables too. it is 4, 6, 7 (my only error in that count is i counted whenever as 2 instead of 3...) Got any ideas in your knoggin that can help inspire me to write the next half of the song? Im thinking I need 6 more bars... If you have heard my "no name song" I am hoping this will match to that melody.
ReplyDeleteLove the poetry. Love the idea.
ReplyDeleteDon't make me plead
Together we'll succeed
You know what I truly (or really?) need
???
Also, "It's time for you to strum along" is 8 syllables but remove "it's" and you have 7.
Yes! I love it :) I switced that verse around a bit, took out the "it's" as suggested and changed the line- Whenever you seem so down and blue - to a much better - When you are so down and blue -. Perfect 4 6 7 syllable pattern. Yay for Internet world help!! Thank you dully! and - thank you Juan (he inspired the "lend me your voice" verse. I still need some help so comment away!!
ReplyDeleteI loved the changes... but they didnt work well with the song itself... sooo the two verses didnt make the final cut. :(
ReplyDeleteYay its done!! Its got a name! Ive got the melody and the guitar down :) now I just need to practice it (learn how to sing and play at the same time so I can play it alone) and record it! I love it. Hope you do too!
ReplyDelete